Wednesday, 2 July 2008

i could weep!!

this post was written on Monday of this week.........

well here we are finally at the last full day in the stone cottage - we shall spend our last night camping out on the floor this evening , and then we are officially campers :)

it feels strange to be leaving here even though i have never felt truly settled or at home here - there is just something not quite right with the feeling in this house.
i shall have no sadness when we drive away at all - just a sense of relief that this chapter of our lives is over.

yesterday we visited site after the crew had left and danced in the rain on our floor!!
it was so wonderful to stand in what will be our living room and look out to sea, to picture where our sweet duck egg blue Rayburn will go, and to stand in what has been named "Philips room" xx
today the panels are arriving and will go up this week - all roof trusses are made and will be popped in place by Sunday.
it is all too exciting and yet i felt so full of sadness that i could not share it all with my Annie.
time does not seem to be healing as fast as i had hoped - i miss her so very, very much.
standing there i did realise how lucky we are to have achieved our dream.
after years watching friends and family as they all moved on to bigger and better houses, enjoy overseas holidays and driving fancy cars - and we just kept our heads down - worked hard and remained in the same property we first brought together some 15 years before whilst prices were low whilst driving around in an ancient Ford Anglia and a battered old Land rover!

and now we are in the position we only dreamt of, never truly believing we would ever actually achieve and it feels odd....
we both know that we have come so far and yet the hard work is only just about to start - the decisions on how to make this shell our home will take a long time - we plan on taking it slowly as long as living in darling Betsy turns out to be o.k.


it is now Wednesday evening and we are still at the stone cottage, still sleeping on the floor and still without dillon and woody.

where to start?

amongst other things ...............

Betsy had a leak and the gas bottle did not fit
Stephen has been so busy at work that i have hardly seen him and he has not been around to help with the last of the moving and cleaning
no time to collect the boys today so it has been put off again until Saturday

i could weep but i refuse to

on the plus side the house is AMAZING
we have walls, we have rooms and at the end of this week we will have roof trusses
it is all coming along nicely

the plan?

we will move in to Betsy tomorrow come hell or high water
we will collect the boys on Saturday
we will keep smiling and not scream or cry :)

i am really behind on emails at the moment and i send my apologies out to all - i will answer i promise
at the moment we have no phone line at Sea House so internet access is going to be from the library - short and sweet and every other day, so i may disappear for a while

i will try to post pictures over at Sea House before we go tomorrow and will update you all as soon as i am back online x

thank you all for your love, support and for making me smile over this stressful time

you are all swell :)

t x


Katie twinkles said...

Hey, Well done you two! You deserve all the success.
I bet you a fiver you will become so attached to Trash-Betsy that you will
not want to leave there either.
Departed dearly-loved friends are missed always and possibly never gotten over but one becomes more accustomed to the reality in my experience. (((hug)))
I still don't know WHO the boys are??
And, finally I wish you luck and hope while you are hunched over the slowest computers on the planet in the library you will be wearing your campers anorak and your hair in bunches :-))
All the best , The Twinkle x
oh and p.s you should also wear folded down wellies for the complete look........

pebbledash said...

Oh Tracy, what a topsy turvy week, but it will all be worth it in the end. Thinking of you. D x

Vintage to Victorian said...

Thinking of you and longing for it all to be perfect for you. Shall keep checking to see what's happening. Chin up - nearly there!
Sue x

jules said...

dear Tracy, you have done so well to wait this long working towards your dream and now at last is is within reach. Keep your chin up and just think of cold scottish nights huddled around your rayburn, when all the upheaval will be a distant memory, OK Yes!! you will still have to get up in the morning and check on all your lovely animals but it will be worth every chilly trek across the fields to do so. And Tracy don't think for one minute that Annie is not sharing every step with you, she's spurring you on as only a dear friend can, believe me I know

love Jules xx

ps can't wait to see the build pics

trashalou said...

'this too shall pass.'

Pipany said...

Keep it going Tracy. as you said, you have come this far, been patient and achieved so much. the last bit is always the longest because you can see the end in sight, but not close enough to touch. We are all here for you my lovely xxx

mollycupcakes said...

Keep on smiling Tracy,
You can see your dream building in front of your eyes. Watch it and enjoy ever bit of it.
With the downs there will be so many more up's for you both.
Have fun in Besty the camper, you'll look back and say it was so worth it.
Dillon and Woody will understand that Mummy and Daddy have to wait a little longer before collecting them. Can't wait to see them.
Many hugs sweetie, I'm here if you need me.
and we'll keep hold of Talulla's birthday treats until your ready for me to post them.
Catherine x x x

April said...

I think you are amazing Tracy, you are so brave to do something like this and I am loving travelling (virtually!) with you on this journey

April xx

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Just think, you have people all over the world who are thinking of you, rooting for you, praying for you, and wishing you well! Of whom I am only one. And of course, Edward is doing the same for Talulla. In fact, he is passing on an award he was just given to sweet Talulla. She can pick it up at our site when you come up for air!
Good thoughts your way!

Susan said...

beautiful, beautiful dogs. Sigh.

cheers, from Nova Scotia
S & Winn.

prettyshabby said...

Hi Tracy..sounds like you are having a tough time of it of late..I can absolutely promise you your pain of missing your dear friend will get easier,(i speak from experience..its been 14 years and he's grinning down from my pinboard in front of the computer)its still a bit raw right now and all the upheaval wont help when you need that person to have a moan at or share ideas or news with, your dream is at the tip of your will all suddenly come together ..just stay positive ..and youre getting a duck-egg blue that surely must make you absolutely gorgeous!
ps..please dont worry replying to my have plenty on your plate at the mo! xx

prettyshabby said...

ok I meant RAYBURN..its a duck egg blue rayburn!! :0)

jill said...

Tracy, a big hughughug from Georgia in the USA - when you feel really down about the hassles of the move, try to look back at how far you've come - remember when you wished you could be at the point of the hassles you're facing right now!

One day when all has settled down and you're looking out to the sea in the early morning, or gazing at the silent milky way in the deep night - you will begin to commune with your Annie in a new way - I think you are in the perfect place to miss, remember - and most of all - feel the presence of a dear lost friend. But never lost forever.

Thinking of you....Jill

asti said...

Keep smiling Tracey, you are so very nearly there.......Good luck with it all....
asti xx

driftwood shack said...

Hello just found your blog- looks like your right in the thick of it now! there is a proverb -at the crossroads the wind blows- i think its supposed to mean at times of change we feel more exposed- I hope all goes well!

Linen & Roses said...

Well I'm reading this on Friday so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you finally managed to move into Betsy yesterday! Anyway, thinking of you and hoping all is going well. It will all be worth it in the end when you have your lovely new house. Take care. x

Katie twinkles said...

ooh..what's the difference between a Rayburn and an Aga?
I used to have (and long for again) a Parkray.

Its all so exciting Tracy x

I can't wait til I have my Pony and Trap for transport come the 'Oil Apocalypse' (that's the name of a book by the way, so I don't get Persauded), and my beloved parkray. Hooray!

Alison Boon said...

You are doing so well. Hang on in there. It will get better.

Charlie P said...

Oh dear! Don't be tempted to burst into tears- just think of the fabtastic house you'll soon (very soon by the sound of things) be living in :)
Are all the animals getting their own rooms?

Kitty said...

I know it's easy for the likes of me to say, and hard for you to live with, but I truly believe Anne is seeing your house go up, and *IS* sharing it all with you. You just can't see her.

I can't wait to see the pictures - I just know it's going to be style personified.

Take it a day at a time - you'll get there in the end.

Thinking of you all. (((hugs))) x

carolyn said...

It's all such a wonderful hetler skelter adventure, wishing you lots of luck.

Jane said...

Good luck with your wonderful adventure and although it is difficult at the moment I hope it all goes well. Jane x

alice c said...

Sending you warm smiles so that you keep happy even when it rains on Betsy. Fingers crossed for you all.

Fran├žoise said...

I look at your site everyday and think of you and your joys and trials. I hope you get more of the former despite all the obstacles. By the time this is over, you will have written a book!
I love all the dog pictures, especially puppy Ghillie, so big but so innocent looking!
Lots of good thoughts and wishes from the pioneer state of Oregon!

CAMILLA said...

Hello Cupcakes,

My apologies, just trying to catch up.

Oh sounds a very busy week for you, we took our house off the market as we were getting so stressed with buyers. Hope it does get better for you, just hang in there, love the idea of living by the sea.


Libbys Blog said...

Looking forward to finding out more about your new home. As I have been following your progress.
Hope you are all safe and dry!

Cowboys & Custard said...

Moving house is a very emotional time at the best of times but with bitter-sweet memories behind you it makes it all the more difficult.. BUT.. look ahead and imagine your beautiful new nest feathered and cosy.. there will be many happy times ahead for you all..

With love

Fran├žoise said...

Still checking, and sending you many good wishes for the house to be moving along so you'll soon be able to move in. I am adding hugs and smiles in case you need them.

Liz said...

I am so excited for you! The house sounds splendid... cant wait to hear more.