Saturday, 3 November 2007

today whilst out walking the dogs i saw more rainbows than i have in my lifetime.

it is two months today since i lost my pal.....

i miss
her smile
her laugh
having someone with a good eye for what clothes suit me to share a changing room with
her houmous
going on a dog walk and chatting so much that we do not notice having walked so far
knowing someone with worse road rage than me
seeing her always putting on her lipstick before we went anywhere
having someone to nag me about my grey hair
stopping to look at birds and squirrels
seeing that look of dismay as i scream for the dogs to come back after they have been gone for 30 seconds
of knowing that she is always there
lime green clothes
having someone to trust with my secrets
eating cakes
drinking tea
movie nights with us all and the dogs crammed on the sofa
the smell of her wax coat
her huge selection of hats
her tiny feet
seeing how much she loved talulla
just sitting in the car at the end of a walk
her standing at the gate as i turn the corner to go home.

i have so many memories and so many regrets, things i wish i had said and done, places we had planned to go.........

perhaps it was a perfect day to see so many rainbows xx


Dragonfly said...

What a beautiful photo and a beautiful post. Your friend will always be with you. I read The Afterburn. It takes alot of courage to be that honest.

Jane said...

Keep watching for rainbows,

Monkee Maker said...

You have an amazing way with words .... you deserve to see many rainbows :)

Miles Away In France said...

Thinking of you x


OhSoVintage said...

Lovely memories of a very special person to you. Don't have regrets, feelings don't have to be voiced out loud for another person to know them.

Raindrops to Rainbows said...

I love your blog so much, ive been reading your posts for a few months and cant keep away!
Ive also been reading about Ann over at Afterburn, so sorry to hear of your loss, even though i dont know you it still makes me a little sad, amazing how much you can end up feeling you know someone just by reading their blog every week or so.
take care,
lindsay xx

PS:Im new to blogging and would welcome visits to my blogs if you have the time

Ali said...

I've always known that rainbows are special messages of one form or another. Glad you got yours.

driftwood said...

I think she would have loved those rainbows, she sounded like a wonderful friend

lazylol said...

So sad. I hope things get a little easier for you over time. Sending you a hug x

trashalou said...

Someone once said to me 'Take comfort in the happy memories.' Sort of a little trite but it works for me.

Hilda May said...

sending you biggest hug and comfort from Cornwall.......

rachel x

mollycupcakes said...

What a beautiful photo, I'm sure that even though your friend isn't here with you in body she is with you in spirit. And all those lovely memories will keep her think you always.

Thinking of you honey.

Hugs x
Catherine x

Sophie Honeysuckle said...

Oh that was such a lovely post-you describe your friendship so beautifully. It puts everything else in perspective reading this post. xx

Katie twinkles said...

As you know my very best friend in the world died a little while ago and someone said this to me about feeling guilty over unsaid or undone things-that all your relationships with everyone in your life can't always be in perfect order, even when the worst happens unexpectantly. i.e we can only do our bestest. So I hope you can take comfort in this idea x

Cowboys & Custard said...

Tracy.. this is a beautiful poignant tribute to your friend.. I am sure she was there for you in every rainbow..
My mother passed away a few years ago in a place called Rainbow Woods.. I often see rainbows over those woods and I know that she is there watching over me.

Love Honor Disobey said...

This post is so warm, open and tender. I never met Ann but I feel close and like I am grieving too...with you. She sounds like she was a special lady, just like you. I am glad you are my friend.

Anonymous said...

Ive been reading both blogs ( Phil and yours), I've wanted to get in touch and have not then done so. All the usual reasons - saying the things that upset me, you, Phil, being my normal blunt self, exposing emotions, which I learnt when around Ann, were not always welcome. Blubbing is not the done thing! ( Apparently I missed that lesson!!!)
I miss her laugh, her smile and seeing you girls together in the street, just being great friends. Ann loved you. I was soooooooooo envious; I'd always felt that I'd never really been Ann's "cup of tea". She had you and Phil and I always felt that is all she really needed.But I sooo wanted to be!! I loved Ann and Phil, I loved their passion for one another and their joy of being together. I also loved seeing you two girls together - evidently being wonderful friends. That's why I envied you!! I remember Ann telling me about how she met you, how proud she was of your new adventure - the first one - opening the shop in Hawkhurst! She was beaming when she told me about it! I loved your shop too! I miss you! But I wrote today as rainbows are special and are a constant source of great joy and pain for me.My Reg (my step dad), had died, we were in the car, on the way to the funeral. I thought my world had collapsed, it was raining as if Noah was on his way back from his travels, and then suddenly, as if I was being sent a message - appeared the most amazing, WIDE WIDE rainbow - people in the street were stopping and pointing, the cars and buses were suddenly stopping, it was incredible, it was a feeling I can not explain nor try to fathom, except to say to this day they seem to appear at times when reasoning plays no part, and I always feel that Reg is once again with me, watching over me, loving me. Ann will watching over you guys too. I hope one day our paths will cross, if need be in Scotland!
Look after each other - you are an amazing inspirational woman, who shares my passion for the love of the beasties! Wendy-x-

I dont know anything about 'blogging' so I hope you get this message!