i knew the passing of the first year anniversary of Annie's death was always going to be hard, but i had not appreciated how hard.
each day leading up to it was like climbing a steep hill
waking on the day was like opening your eyes and trying to see through thick, thick fog
the days after left my body and soul feeling exhausted and empty
but the anniversary has passed and it is now over a year since i lost the closest friend i will ever know - it seems impossible to think that all this time has passed
thankfully i can still hear her voice and picture her smile - i know some people go through the awful panic of not being able to remember - i am not one of them
this is the post that i published on the day that Annie died - today was the first time that i have looked at it again - it all still rings true......
my girl has gone and left me.
are they the words from a song?
september 3rd 2007 my friend said goodbye to this world that we all gather on, and no doubt, marched on to the next.
she arrived in my life only a few short years ago - we met through dogs - she had two and i wanted twelve!
gradually a friendship developed
one of a closeness that never felt too close
one of so much laughter
one of rage and hissy fits
one of a deep understanding of what each of us felt and needed.
she was a fire cracker - ready to go off at any moment
she made me feel safe and scared all at the same time
never quite sure when she was about to voice her opinion loudly and make me want the room/shop/road to swallow me up!
she was a proud and stubborn woman who was my friend and now she has gone..
the sadness i feel takes my breath away and yet a deep anger lays just beneath the surface.
annie - my girl - i will always
dye my hair
remember lipstick and mascara
believe in myself
stop over worrying about the damn dogs!
love my boy forever
and take care of yours.
i love you girlie
and where ever you are don't take any crap from anyone!